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015: Soul Searching Our Way Back to Sexy

Updated: Jun 22, 2021


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Episode Summary:

The multiple surgeries that come with a breast cancer diagnosis can strip you of your confidence and rob you of your sensuality. Join Tammey as she talks with Cat Phillips of “Sexy Souls Search” about redefining sexy and reconnecting to the soul. In this intimate, vulnerable, and powerful conversation, Tammey and Cat discuss tips and tools that help guide listeners through a journey that leads to the reclamation of sensual identity. Learn where “sexy” truly comes from, in this episode of the “Your Killer Life” podcast.


Topics in this Episode:

  • Intro

  • Once again, NOT A BOOB JOB!!

  • No such thing as a “one size fits all” diagnosis

  • An adjustment in sexiness

  • Reclaimed confidence

  • Thriving, not “surviving”

  • Dance like no one is watching

  • Light and dark in tandem

  • Vanity or identity?

  • Redefine a narrative

  • Overwhelmed with good intentions

  • “I am more than a physical being”

  • We define sexy!

  • Reconciliation with beauty

  • Speak kindly to yourself

  • Turn those heads!

  • Lessons of a continuing journey

  • Sign off

Guest Contact Information and Social Links:

Contact Information and Social Links:

Resources:


A special thank you to our sponsor, Riverdance Soapworks. Handcrafted products we personally use. Visit www.riverdancesoapworks.com and let them know you heard about them from Tammey.


Transcript:

Intro

Tammey Grable-Woodford: Hello, and welcome back to Your Killer Life. I am so excited for this week’s guest. We are talking with Cat Phillips, and she is with Sexy Soul Search. And so, yeah, we’re going to have a little bit of sex talk on this one, but probably not in the way that you’re thinking. Cat is... not only is she just amazing and I would say a long lost breastie of mine, but she is a body and soul coach, she’s cancer thriver, and I love that because that is often how I refer to myself. I... survivor just seems so minimal when thriver is really what is possible, and she is out there redefining sexy and talking about how sexy and redefining that and reconnecting with the soul are tied to gather.

So thank you so much for joining me on the podcast today, Cat.


Cat Phillips: That’s so great to be here, Tammy. Thank you for having me.


Tammey Grable-Woodford: Oh, absolutely. This is such an important topic, and I think it’s a topic that we honestly don’t really. I was gonna say, we don’t talk about enough, but you know, I kind of want to phrase it as maybe we’re learning to own, like, we are learning to take back some of this language and redefine it as part of our femininity and our growth after these experiences.


But before we get into all of that stuff, which this is going to be a great conversation. Tell us a little bit about you, about your experience, your diagnosis, because I think that it is so helpful for us to hear from other women who have been there, done that, been through it, and all of our experiences being so unique.


So tell us a little bit about you.


Once again, NOT A BOOB JOB!!

Cat Phillips: Yeah, sure. So yeah, Sexy Soul Search really was born from my experience, obviously. And about ten years ago, I was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s lymphoma. And about a year after that, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. So I had a back to back double whammy. And, um, so I went through treatments and tons of surgeries and took a few years to really kind of get ahead of, you know, the Hodgkin’s lymphoma.


And so, I’ve been recovered fully from that. But then over the last several years, I kept having recurrences with the breast cancer. So, I had implants and many surgeries and changing of implants. And it seemed to me at that time, unfortunately, that I was so focused on the cosmetic outcome of my treatment rather than the health of my body.


Which is really, you know, a sad thing, right? Many surgeries, recurrences, the body just kept getting... my body kept getting more mutilated and more mutilated. And, um, the last straw was that I decided to remove the implants because I thought maybe they just weren’t working for me. Maybe they had something to do with recurrence.


Cosmetic surgeons will say no, but in my heart, I just thought that was the thing to do. So, I had them removed, and I was still desperate for some sort of semblance of breasts, you know? So, I opted for a fat transfer. Fat grafting procedures. And I had a couple of those, and I had complications and lo and behold, I had another recurrence of breast cancer.


So, I said, do you know what, Cat what are you doing? This brings a whole new meaning to drop dead gorgeous. You are so focused on trying to have a beautiful body, that something that you can be proud of, that you’re risking your health and your life for this, you know, image that you have in your mind that probably won’t ever achieve.


So, um, I went through quite a dark place, quite depression, you know, at that last, um, recurrence and the fat grafting didn’t even take. So, I actually looked worse than I ever did. Um, throughout the years and something clicked in me that I said, I have to be ok with this. I cannot keep going under the knife and, um, reinjuring injurying, um, my body.


And so, I, I took some time to really mourn the process. I grieved the body that I once knew. And I knew that I would never get that back, or even some semblance of that. It is what it is. And so, I really started to look at modalities of emotional healing, spiritual healing, and meditation breath work, that kind of thing.


And I went on like a soul search and, um, it took me about a year. That’s what birthed Sexy Soul Search. Because I decided that I am going to redefine sexy and that I am more than my physical self and that my sexiness radiates from my soul and who I am at a deep soul level is who I am, and that is what is sexy.


I am empowered. I am confident. I am beautiful. I am all of those things down to my soul.

And that was, I had a spiritual awakening basically. And so, so that was the turning point for me. And I discovered that if this can be a turning point for me, how can I help other women the same way? Because I never, in the 10 years that I’ve been through this process, have never been spoken to about the emotional side, the mental side, um, you know, that trauma, um, about, you know, how I look physically and how it’s ok to look this way.


And I get to decide that I’m enough. And it doesn’t matter what anybody else might think. You know, so for me, it was, it was a spiritual journey of self-discovery and, um, you know, I feel that if I can help people, if I can be of service to women or anybody with body image issues, but for me, because I’m a cancer survivor that is near and dear to my heart, there are so many people in this world that are struggling with body image concerns.


And so, this speaks to anybody and everybody, you know, even people we think might not have any sort of, um, you know, self-doubt. They, you know, inside, we don’t know what people are feeling. So that’s my story, kind of a abbreviated, but, um, yeah, so, so here I am today and I’ve been through, you know, relationships and, and been single and been married, and had dates.


And I’ve dated when I have expanders in and I actually, during the, my chemo way back, um, during Hodgkin’s I actually dated, did online and wrote an article about it called “Chemo Courtships.” And I had no hair. And so I, you know, really interesting topic and subject to discuss, because whether you’re single or married or, you know, with a long-term relationship or a new relationship or potentially a relationship, this is important conversation to have.


No such thing as a “one size fits all” diagnosis.

Tammey Grable-Woodford: It is, it is so significant and it’s so hard to own it in a society that sort of conditions women from childhood to seek outer validation and external validation for their beauty, for what is acceptable, for it’s... I think a lot of pressure that is unique to women. In this area. But before we get into that, I wanted to ask what type of breast cancer did you have?


Cat Phillips: Um, I was diagnosed with DCIS.


Tammey Grable-Woodford: DCIS. Ok. And I get that, um, I want to make sure that, to answer that. Cause I know that that helps others who are going, going through that to relate and mine was ILC. And I think it’s also too important to point out because I did not know until I had my breast cancer diagnosis, that there were so many different types of breast cancer. So, I always want to advocate and let people know that it is different treatments are different and, and outcomes are vary based on all of that. And so, and then you had recurrence of your breast cancer. Did you have metastasis or just, so are you considered metastatic or did you just have recurrence in the breast area?


Cat Phillips: No just, um, lymph nodes that’s as far as it I’m... knock knock. Yeah. So, I said just the lymph nodes, like it’s no big deal, but I know the... (both laughing)


Tammey Grable-Woodford: said just breast cancer. (both laughing) So, I mean...


Cat Phillips: You know what? After the Hodgkin’s lymphoma, I sat in the doctor’s office and the doctor said, Oh, you have breast cancer. And I said, “How fucking unoriginal.” Sorry, can I say that? You might have to bleep that out


Tammey Grable-Woodford: You already did. That’s happened. That ship sailed. (both laughing)


Cat Phillips: Because I was like, ok, like, I didn’t know anybody who had Hodgkin’s I knew, I knew several women who have had it just came out of my mouth and I was like, really like, what? Come on!


Tammey Grable-Woodford: Yeah. Oh my gosh. You know what? You gotta laugh.


Cat Phillips: Gotta laugh. You gotta laugh.


Tammey Grable-Woodford: There’s a whole different, I was having this conversation with a girlfriend of mine who is a Stage 4 and she is living with her metastasis. And you just have these until you are in this boat. It’s hard to explain, like you can literally go from laughing about it, to crying over it, in a nanosecond, but you know, you find your humor where you can.


Cat Phillips: Absolutely. You have to.


Tammey Grable-Woodford: And then it’s interesting how your language changes, right? “Or did you just have it in the recur, in the breast?” It’s just, Oh my goodness.


Cat Phillips: I know.


An adjustment in sexiness.

Tammey Grable-Woodford: Trust me, as that fell out of my mouth. I caught it. Just not just not fast enough. All right. So, let’s, let’s talk about sexy.


Now. I mentioned at the beginning of this; I wanted to; I was excited for this conversation because a lot of times, and we were talking in the virtual green room, about how a lot of times, sex is defi