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Episode Summary:

The multiple surgeries that come with a breast cancer diagnosis can strip you of your confidence and rob you of your sensuality. Join Tammey as she talks with Cat Phillips of “Sexy Souls Search” about redefining sexy and reconnecting to the soul. In this intimate, vulnerable, and powerful conversation, Tammey and Cat discuss tips and tools that help guide listeners through a journey that leads to the reclamation of sensual identity. Learn where “sexy” truly comes from, in this episode of the “Your Killer Life” podcast.

Topics in this Episode:

• Intro

• Once again, NOT A BOOB JOB!!

• No such thing as a “one size fits all” diagnosis

• An adjustment in sexiness

• Reclaimed confidence

• Thriving, not “surviving”

• Dance like no one is watching

• Light and dark in tandem

• Vanity or identity?

• Redefine a narrative

• Overwhelmed with good intentions

• “I am more than a physical being”

• We define sexy!

• Reconciliation with beauty

• Speak kindly to yourself

• Turn those heads!

• Lessons of a continuing journey

• Sign off

Guest Contact Information and Social Links:

• Website: www.sexysoulsearch.com

• Instagram: www.instagram.com/sexysoulsearch

• Facebook: www.facebook.com/sexysoulsearch

Contact Information and Social Links:

• Website: www.yourkillerlife.com

• Instagram: www.instagram.com/yourkillerlife

• Facebook: www.facebook.com/yourkillerlife

• YouTube: www.youtube.com/yourkillerlife

• Twitter: www.twitter.com/not_shirt

Resources:

• Be a guest on the Your Killer Life Podcast

• Sponsor the Your Killer Life Podcast

• Book Tammey or Griff as a speaker or podcast guest

• Snag Your Killer Life Swag!

• Check out the Your Killer Life blog posts, or the original blog, Killer Left Boob

• This podcast is professionally edited by Roth Media

A special thank you to our sponsor, Riverdance Soapworks. Handcrafted products we personally use. Visit www.riverdancesoapworks.com and let them know you heard about them from Tammey.

Transcript:

Intro

Tammey Grable-Woodford: Hello, and welcome back to Your Killer Life. I am so excited for this week’s guest. We are talking with Cat Phillips, and she is with Sexy Soul Search. And so, yeah, we’re going to have a little bit of sex talk on this one, but probably not in the way that you’re thinking. Cat is... not only is she just amazing and I would say a long lost breastie of mine, but she is a body and soul coach, she’s cancer thriver, and I love that because that is often how I refer to myself. I... survivor just seems so minimal when thriver is really what is possible, and she is out there redefining sexy and talking about how sexy and redefining that and reconnecting with the soul are tied to gather.

So thank you so much for joining me on the podcast today, Cat.

Cat Phillips: That’s so great to be here, Tammy. Thank you for having me.

Tammey Grable-Woodford: Oh, absolutely. This is such an important topic, and I think it’s a topic that we honestly don’t really. I was gonna say, we don’t talk about enough, but you know, I kind of want to phrase it as maybe we’re learning to own, like, we are learning to take back some of this language and redefine it as part of our femininity and our growth after these experiences.

But before we get into all of that stuff, which this is going to be a great conversation. Tell us a little bit about you, about your experience, your diagnosis, because I think that it is so helpful for us to hear from other women who have been there, done that, been through it, and all of our experiences being so unique.

So tell us a little bit about you.

Once again, NOT A BOOB JOB!!

Cat Phillips: Yeah, sure. So yeah, Sexy Soul Search really was born from my experience, obviously. And about ten years ago, I was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s lymphoma. And about a year after that, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. So I had a back to back double whammy. And, um, so I went through treatments and tons of surgeries and took a few years to really kind of get ahead of, you know, the Hodgkin’s lymphoma.

And so, I’ve been recovered fully from that. But then over the last several years, I kept having recurrences with the breast cancer. So, I had implants and many surgeries and changing of implants. And it seemed to me at that time, unfortunately, that I was so focused on the cosmetic outcome of my treatment rather than the health of my body.

Which is really, you know, a sad thing, right? Many surgeries, recurrences, the body just kept getting... my body kept getting more mutilated and more mutilated. And, um, the last straw was that I decided to remove the implants because I thought maybe they just weren’t working for me. Maybe they had something to do with recurrence.

Cosmetic surgeons will say no, but in my heart, I just thought that was the thing to do. So, I had them removed, and I was still desperate for some sort of semblance of breasts, you know? So, I opted for a fat transfer. Fat grafting procedures. And I had a couple of those, and I had complications and lo and behold, I had another recurrence of breast cancer.

So, I said, do you know what, Cat what are you doing? This brings a whole new meaning to drop dead gorgeous. You are so focused on trying to have a beautiful body, that something that you can be proud of, that you’re risking your health and your life for this, you know, image that you have in your mind that probably won’t ever achieve.

So, um, I went through quite a dark place, quite depression, you know, at that last, um, recurrence and the fat grafting didn’t even take. So, I actually looked worse than I ever did. Um, throughout the years and something clicked in me that I said, I have to be ok with this. I cannot keep going under the knife and, um, reinjuring injurying, um, my body.

And so, I, I took some time to really mourn the process. I grieved the body that I once knew. And I knew that I would never get that back, or even some semblance of that. It is what it is. And so, I really started to look at modalities of emotional healing, spiritual healing, and meditation breath work, that kind of thing.

And I went on like a soul search and, um, it took me about a year. That’s what birthed Sexy Soul Search. Because I decided that I am going to redefine sexy and that I am more than my physical self and that my sexiness radiates from my soul and who I am at a deep soul level is who I am, and that is what is sexy.

I am empowered. I am confident. I am beautiful. I am all of those things down to my soul.

And that was, I had a spiritual awakening basically. And so, so that was the turning point for me. And I discovered that if this can be a turning point for me, how can I help other women the same way? Because I never, in the 10 years that I’ve been through this process, have never been spoken to about the emotional side, the mental side, um, you know, that trauma, um, about, you know, how I look physically and how it’s ok to look this way.

And I get to decide that I’m enough. And it doesn’t matter what anybody else might think. You know, so for me, it was, it was a spiritual journey of self-discovery and, um, you know, I feel that if I can help people, if I can be of service to women or anybody with body image issues, but for me, because I’m a cancer survivor that is near and dear to my heart, there are so many people in this world that are struggling with body image concerns.

And so, this speaks to anybody and everybody, you know, even people we think might not have any sort of, um, you know, self-doubt. They, you know, inside, we don’t know what people are feeling. So that’s my story, kind of a abbreviated, but, um, yeah, so, so here I am today and I’ve been through, you know, relationships and, and been single and been married, and had dates.

And I’ve dated when I have expanders in and I actually, during the, my chemo way back, um, during Hodgkin’s I actually dated, did online and wrote an article about it called “Chemo Courtships.” And I had no hair. And so I, you know, really interesting topic and subject to discuss, because whether you’re single or married or, you know, with a long-term relationship or a new relationship or potentially a relationship, this is important conversation to have.

No such thing as a “one size fits all” diagnosis.

Tammey Grable-Woodford: It is, it is so significant and it’s so hard to own it in a society that sort of conditions women from childhood to seek outer validation and external validation for their beauty, for what is acceptable, for it’s... I think a lot of pressure that is unique to women. In this area. But before we get into that, I wanted to ask what type of breast cancer did you have?

Cat Phillips: Um, I was diagnosed with DCIS.

Tammey Grable-Woodford: DCIS. Ok. And I get that, um, I want to make sure that, to answer that. Cause I know that that helps others who are going, going through that to relate and mine was ILC. And I think it’s also too important to point out because I did not know until I had my breast cancer diagnosis, that there were so many different types of breast cancer. So, I always want to advocate and let people know that it is different treatments are different and, and outcomes are vary based on all of that. And so, and then you had recurrence of your breast cancer. Did you have metastasis or just, so are you considered metastatic or did you just have recurrence in the breast area?

Cat Phillips: No just, um, lymph nodes that’s as far as it I’m... knock knock. Yeah. So, I said just the lymph nodes, like it’s no big deal, but I know the... (both laughing)

Tammey Grable-Woodford: said just breast cancer. (both laughing) So, I mean...

Cat Phillips: You know what? After the Hodgkin’s lymphoma, I sat in the doctor’s office and the doctor said, Oh, you have breast cancer. And I said, “How fucking unoriginal.” Sorry, can I say that? You might have to bleep that out

Tammey Grable-Woodford: You already did. That’s happened. That ship sailed. (both laughing)

Cat Phillips: Because I was like, ok, like, I didn’t know anybody who had Hodgkin’s I knew, I knew several women who have had it just came out of my mouth and I was like, really like, what? Come on!

Tammey Grable-Woodford: Yeah. Oh my gosh. You know what? You gotta laugh.

Cat Phillips: Gotta laugh. You gotta laugh.

Tammey Grable-Woodford: There’s a whole different, I was having this conversation with a girlfriend of mine who is a Stage 4 and she is living with her metastasis. And you just have these until you are in this boat. It’s hard to explain, like you can literally go from laughing about it, to crying over it, in a nanosecond, but you know, you find your humor where you can.

Cat Phillips: Absolutely. You have to.

Tammey Grable-Woodford: And then it’s interesting how your language changes, right? “Or did you just have it in the recur, in the breast?” It’s just, Oh my goodness.

Cat Phillips: I know.

An adjustment in sexiness.

Tammey Grable-Woodford: Trust me, as that fell out of my mouth. I caught it. Just not just not fast enough. All right. So, let’s, let’s talk about sexy.

Now. I mentioned at the beginning of this; I wanted to; I was excited for this conversation because a lot of times, and we were talking in the virtual green room, about how a lot of times, sex is defined also externally. Right? And it’s been a language really more so of the masculine energy, um, than of the feminine energy.

And so. You start going through this process, and all of the sudden, because I will tell you even after repeated reconstructions and multiple surgeries, I finally got to the best I’m going to get to, which is not where I was. I’ll never see that previous self, that, that ship sailed. Right. So, so adjusting to that, but really kind of redefining what sexy and what sensuality, what that feels like and looks like, and for you personally, and that is such a huge conversation. So yeah. You want to kick us off a little bit about how you, what you mean when you say redefining sexy. Because if we look up sexy, we’re going to find, yeah.

Cat Phillips: Yeah. First and foremost, um, it starts with self-worth and self-love. Because if you don’t tackle those two things, it’s going to be more difficult for you to feel comfortable or intimate with somebody else.

So, for me, I have a, I have a program that I’m developing where it’s different phases of kind of going through this process, and it starts with self-worth. And there’s also a self-love and there’s different activities or rituals that you can do. And it’s really about getting intimate with yourself and finding that sexiness within you and on a physical level.

So it could be something like dancing naked in front of the mirror to your favorite song. I mean, really getting your groove on you know what I mean? And moving your body to a way that is like sexy as hell. You know what I mean?

So that kind of, that kind of thing. Um, giving yourself self-massage, um, really getting intimate, knowing what feels good to you, with your new body with the way that it is now. Cause it’s different, there might be areas you don’t want to touched. There might be areas that are sensitive. You have to know that.

So really, I mean every inch of you, getting really intimate. Um, and then, you know, falling in love with who you are now because there is a mourning process. I think that is so key that women don’t. Do you have to mourn the body that you once had, to accept what is. So, um, if you don’t do that, you’re going to have a really hard time moving forward and accepting and loving yourself as you are now.

So I’ve done several of those kinds of rituals over the, over the year that I had my spiritual awakening and it, that really got me to the other side.

So I redefined sexy as I’m empowered. I am confident now. I know that I’m beautiful inside and out. It doesn’t matter... there could be nobody on this planet, who thinks I’m beautiful. It doesn’t matter. I do.

You know? And I’ve decided that for myself because it is who I am. I can’t change it. You know, I can’t, at this point, I can’t change it. And I, and I don’t want to try to change it anymore because all of that desperation led me deeper and deeper into a dark place.

Tammey Grable-Woodford: You know, it’s so true. The confidence is so paramount. And it’s also something that is, that is stripped from us in this process in ways like that... that’s a common thread. I obviously can only intimately speak from my own experience, but I can tell you that I went from someone who was... who had ran for state representative, who had no problems speaking publicly, to feeling so stripped of my confidence that I had social anxiety meeting with friends. Like I got to the end of this and I’m like, how do I have a conversation with people now? That’s not a cancer-focused conversation.

How do I integrate back into society and around, yeah, and around what’s normal. The old normal. And then I went through this period of just struggling to find the, uh, the normal that was, and I often say it’s like trying to hold the same river water twice, right.

Like that had passed.

Reclaimed confidence

Cat Phillips: Impossible. Yeah.

Tammey Grable-Woodford: Yeah. And so then it really was coming down to how do I accept and love me? And then I called, I said it was like being a teenager again. So now I’m having to adjust to my body, to love, love myself...

Cat Phillips: Right. Exactly. Exactly. That’s it? And it’s a pro... it’s not easy, you know, and I feel like I’m more confident now than before I had all of this happened to me.

Tammey Grable-Woodford: Yeah.

Cat Phillips: It’s amazing. The evolution and it’s, it is it’s mindset, but it’s a process. Transformation doesn’t happen overnight. And you want to enjoy the process.

You don’t want to just flip the switch. You won’t learn anything that way -you won’t grow or extend. So it’s a process, and you move through it, and it’s, you know, it’s up and down, and it’s a beautiful thing.

Tammey Grable-Woodford: Yes. It really is. And I also loved what you said. I want to go back and talk a little bit about self-massage, something that I, I see often I’m, I’m in survivor groups, and I’m sure you are too. And sort of one of the, one of the common threads that comes up is just not wanting to touch, like not wanting to look as one thing, which is really... it’s complicated because you can’t not see yourself when you dry yourself off. Like, you know, eventually you’re going to... going to see it. And so what I say with, uh, breast cancer is that there’s just every day you are reminded every day, you are reminded that you went through this because you’re going to see or feel, or have this reminder.

And talking about feel. So I, I was someone that I had cupping done, and I had massage done cause I had painful scarring. And so I had that type of sensation, but when it came to feeling them. It was an odd thing because, and I think a lot of guys, and we have, we have husbands and caregivers and, and boyfriends that listen, you know, the sensation that we have in that area is so different.

And so it is kind of a trigger because at first, you’re like, wow, this either I don’t feel anything, which is really hard. Or it feels like your foot fell asleep, kind of numb tingly, as nerves are redoing their thing. So talk to us a little bit about the power of not just seeing yourself, but also, as you said, massage and getting to know yourself again and getting to to feel yourself again.

Cat Phillips: Yeah, I think it’s really important to eventually see yourself as a sensual being; even though I talk a lot about, we’re more than our physical selves. That’s really who we are on a soul level; we still have bodies that we drive around in this life. And this is, you know, our, our vehicle that, you know, it’s important to take care of it. And this is, you know, what we’ve got while we’re here.

So you want to feel comfortable in your body, obviously in a safe way. If there’s areas that you shouldn’t be, you know, roughing up, then don’t know, don’t get it. But when I’m talking about massage, I’m not talking about deep pressure, like a massage therapist would do.

I’m talking about a light gliding motion that feels good. That you can explore your body. And even if in a sexual way, you want to explore your body. It’s a beautiful thing because you are a sexual, sensual being; we are human. So go to town and enjoy it because I think even, yeah, after you have had these surgeries and you feel maybe less than you, you might not feel like you’re worthy of having pleasure in the way that you once did.

And that’s a shame you know, I mean, if anything, you deserve it even more after everything you’ve gone through. And, um, and, and we go through so much pain and illness, and we’ve been not feeling good. I mean we, we deserve to feel good, so to really explore and, and not be afraid of that. And when the time is right, the time is right. You know, you can’t force it.

Tammey Grable-Woodford: Right.

Cat Phillips: I mean, obviously, but when you get that glimmer of, ok, I think I’m ready to get to know this new, physical being of mine. Take it slow and just, you know, obviously in your own space, safe space, private space, and, um, get to know yourself before you jump into anything uncomfortable with a partner, um, that, that you’re not quite ready for.

I think it’s first and foremost; you got to get to know yourself and see that you are worthy of experiencing joy and pleasure and happiness, and that you are worthy of self-love and self-acceptance. It’s it’s, it’s not easy. It’s definitely not easy. And you know, for me, um, it was discovering my purpose. I think a lot of people get to this point where you realize, I mean, all of the silver linings, right?

Tammey Grable-Woodford: Right.

Cat Phillips: Where you’d say like, Oh my gosh, it’s not ideal. This is not what I would have chosen, but especially with the Sexy Soul Search, when that came to me like a bolt of lightning, It’s like, this is my purpose! I get, I get it now. Yeah. You know? So, um, so it it, it’s such a gift. It’s like, ok, if I hadn’t gone through all of that, I would not have been, you know, awoken to everything that I know now. And the belief systems that I now have and how much I adore and appreciate myself and my body for kicking ass over the last ten years, you know,

Tammey Grable-Woodford: Yeah!

Cat Phillips: We’re, we’re worthy of so much. We just need to get out of our way and let it happen. And, you know, sometimes we, we think in too much,

Tammey Grable-Woodford: We do. And sometimes I think we also place that externally, right. That, that validation. And so really getting to know yourself. And I’ve said before on previous episodes, when my medical oncologist said to me, you know, many people say that, you know, breast cancer is, it was amazing for them in the end.

They, they, you know?

Cat Phillips: Isn’t that wild. That’s so wild. I get it. Yeah.

Tammey Grable-Woodford: I will tell you, as a newly diagnosed person, I probably never wanted to throat punch a doctor as much as I did at that moment. Right. Like, so. Because it doesn’t make sense.

Cat Phillips: No, it doesn’t.

Thriving, not “surviving.”

Tammey Grable-Woodford: It’s a long haul, right? That’s, you know, I say cancer is a marathon. It is not a sprint. And the people who are there sending you flowers and cards and loving on you when you are first diagnosed and the people who are still with you years later, you know, not every, not everybody makes it to the finish line, and that’s that’s ok.

That is absolutely ok.

Cat Phillips: I think that’s why I prefer the term thriver than survivor. Cause we don’t really ever survive it. It’s ongoing. It’s even if we’re in remission ten years; it’s still part of you, the experience, the some of the fears, all of that. So you have to thrive through it, you know, you’re not merely like, Oh, I survived it, I’m done.

No, you’re still thriving.

Tammey Grable-Woodford: That is such a great point. It really is never behind you. And you know, not only are you daily reminded of... for the most part and I I’m five-plus years out. And you know, so yes, there might be days where, you know, my reminders now change. My reminder is I, I love my tattoos, and I’ll see my tattoo. And I’m like, wow. You know, I’m thankful for those tattoos. I love them.

Um, But it is still there. And with that comes to your point of mental health, you know, it’s not just the trigger of what we’ve been through that initial diagnosis. There’s also the ongoing scans, the ever-present possibility of it returning, people, asking those questions of, so, you know, are you and remission, are you cured?

Are you right? And my answer is always like, well, I’m good today, right? Because I there’s...

Cat Phillips: Yeah... it’s an ongoing process. I always. Say it’s an ongoing process. It’s not, I mean, that’s it because even if, if you don’t have recurrence for years, hopefully, you’re still doing the maintenance. You’re still doing the things you’re treating your body while you’re doing all of those things to keep you well. So it is ongoing, always

Tammey Grable-Woodford: Right, always.

So what I also love, and one of the reasons I really wanted to bring video to the guest episodes on the YouTube channel is that there are so many of us who... well all of us, as we’re thriving through this, you look at “pink-tober,” which I will admit is my least favorite month. And I’ll probably have an episode on that in October...

Cat Phillips: and that’s my birthday month, and it’s always like, I know I’m with you. It’s all good.

Tammey Grable-Woodford: But the images that we see. Right? So I think back to when I was newly diagnosed, and I think back to the images that came to mind that were the images that, that I was familiar with when thinking about cancer.

And then the reality of that secret, not so secret club and finding so many people who were alive and living vibrantly in this diagnosis and is it was so eye-opening.

And so to see that, honestly, truly people could bump into either one of us on the street, never know.

Cat Phillips: Never never. Yeah. That’s so true. Yeah, absolutely. It is. It’s. Yeah, it’s amazing how far we’ve come in so many ways. So really?

Dance like no one is watching.

Tammey Grable-Woodford: Yeah, it really is. It really is. Ok. So let’s talk about, we talked a little about redefining, sexy, and getting in touch with self. What did you find was the most powerful thing about the exercise of dancing and especially naked in front of the mirror. Tell me a little bit about that why, for that?

Cat Phillips: Yeah. I mean, I think that that really. It seems so silly, and when you’re doing it, it’s like nobody else is watching you. Go for it. And how fun once the music, hits and you and I... I move my body in ways... I mean, I do it often, actually. I do think I’m to a place now. I’m not saying I’m completely a hundred percent. It’s again an evolution. Everything is evolving.

But I’m at to a place now where. It’s like, this is me. This is the new normal, this, I don’t even honestly remember what I look, what my body looked like before, to be honest. And like you, I got tattoos and different things. So it looks completely different than I ever did before my diagnosis and, um, and it is just who I am.

And so it’s so empowering to rock your body. Like to just be proud of it and say, this is who I am. I’m gonna move; I’m gonna dance. I’m gonna do everything that my body allows me to do in this moment because it thought through so much, and it deserves it. Like it, you know, it’s gotten us, our bodies have gotten us through thick and thin, and we deserve to not only, you know, treat it well on a physical level, but to speak kindly.

So if you’re standing there and you’re saying, Oh, you’re ugly. I don’t like that. You’re poor body. I mean, it has done so much for you, and it’s in a place right now that you’re still alive. So give it the love and the care and the nourishment that it deserves and speak kindly to it. That is one of the most important things that I do.

So when the bathroom dancing naked in front of the mirror, I’m appreciating all that my body has done for me. I’m like, you know, it’s, it’s perfect.

Tammey Grable-Woodford: It is.

Cat Phillips: Perfect. I’m able; some people can’t dance, you know, some people can’t move their body. So I’m so grateful for what I can do, what I do have. There’s always somebody worse off. So instead of, you know, I used to have pity parties for me all the time, and it’s like, I don’t, I have no right to do that.

There’s going to be somebody that can even get up and move. They can’t even, you know, do the things that I am so grateful to be able to do it on a daily basis. So, um, I have nothing to complain about.

Tammey Grable-Woodford: I love, I love what you said earlier about mourning, though because you know, you do have to mourn in the loss. And one of the things that I see often and, and have heard as well, you know, you should be thankful... I’ve actually even had people say to me, well, you know, you should be thankful that you’re still alive.

Well, yeah, I am. But that does not override or remove my right to mourn the loss and trauma that I’ve had. One does not override the other. They are they’re happening in tandem.

Light and dark in tandem.

Cat Phillips: Yeah. Yeah. I had to go through that. I had to go through that, that mourning. It was dark. It was dark, you know, so I’m not saying like, Oh, everything’s been jollies, you know, since then, but now I am to a place where I can appreciate it and, um, and feel like really comfortable and, um, not so not so sad. It’s not ideal. Obviously, I wouldn’t choose, choose it in that way, but, um, but at the time, yeah, I, Oh man, tears and sadness and depression and just, and, and to a point, like I said, I was so desperate that the, I mean, I can’t even count how many surgeries I’ve had to try to get my body to a place where I could accept it and it, and then at one point I was like, This is like a cruel joke.

The more I try, the worse it looks. So, um, so, and yeah, it was, it was deep. It was dark. It was all of the emotions, all fear and anger and frustration, and shame. And I mean, all of those emotions that you can imagine, I did a lot of journaling. I did a lot of journaling. I, of course, with some of my closer friends that, um, you know, have gone through it as well, a lot of, a lot of girl talk, a lot of chatting like that and, and things to work through it, but it was definitely processed more than I think that people need to be, you know, women need to be ok with that and allow that to happen. And don’t be ashamed of that. And, um, you know, and however long it takes you, um, just, just like you would lose anything that’s important to you. Yeah.

Tammey Grable-Woodford: Yeah. It’s uh, when, when I was going through the process, my significant other, my husband Griff asked me a really poignant question at one point. And because I was starting to dismiss it, right. I was like, ah; they’re just boobs. Oh, I’m just vain. Oh, it’s not like I need them for anything. Uh, right? And so, as I am busy, kind of, uh, emotionally distancing myself, from what it is that I’m trying to feel. Like my brain and my body is trying to process this. And I am just really busy trying to be logical and shut it down. And he asked me the question of, “Are you sure...” well, he’s really good. He first asked permission to ask a question. Do you want feedback, or do you want me to just listen and, um, always a dangerous question with him. And so I, I said feedback. Sure. Go ahead. Hit me. And his question was, “Are you sure you’re not confusing identity and vanity?’ And that hit me really hard because it is a part of your identity. It is a part of your person. And I think that in at least I, you know, I can’t speak for other cultures. I can only speak for the culture I grew up in. And then, of course, the era I grew up in.

Breasts in the United States are highly sexualized, and we don’t necessarily appreciate the fact that they are... what they were originally intended for...

Cat Phillips: Oh my God. Yeah. That’s a whole topic. Yeah. Interesting topic. Yes.

Tammey Grable-Woodford: Right? So, so it is this interesting thing where, and, and of course, cosmetic surgery in the States. I forget now, Oh my gosh. I’ll have to look at the stats again. And I’ll, if I remember, I’ll put those in the show notes, how many plastic surgery procedures, how many breast augmentations there are per day is astounding.

Cat Phillips: Elective.

Vanity or identity?

Tammey Grable-Woodford: Yes. Elective. Which is entirely different. And then, kind of coming back to that. And I, I do want to come back to this because I think this is important too, for anyone listening for any caregiver, listening for anyone going through this, if you’re thinking that the one and done is the norm, I, in my experience and with what I’ve seen through others in, in survivor groups, the “one and done” as in, meaning, I had a mastectomy and then I had reconstruction and that’s all I needed.

That is more the exception than the rule. And for many of us, it is a couple of attempts with everything going on in the body to get, get back, if you can, because your story also is a common one where, you know, whether it’s because people tried, whether, uh, you know, and had failed implants, whether it’s because they had an implant, because now we have, uh, the textured implants and the risk of additional cancer from those.

So, yeah. So, and then there are women who really struggle with breast implant illness symptoms. And so there it’s, it’s really not... a) it’s not a boob job, which is entirely different. Entirely different um, in the process and in the aesthetic, and then b) it’s often not one and done. And so you really are um, and there are so many different procedures. I’m going to have a plastic surgeon on to talk about all of the different procedures. Cause, and there are even new ones. But still, um, I think my last guest probably said it best like question one is, do you want a breast mound or not? Like, how important is that to you?

And we’re seeing sort of that transition with the aesthetic flat closure and more women just choosing to remain flat and saying I’m done because it’s so hard on me and my body

Cat Phillips: Yes. Yes.

Tammey Grable-Woodford: To continue to go through this. So...

Cat Phillips: it’s true because it, and it does identify you in that way because I mean, that’s a woman’s body and I know for me, You know, a little sex talk here... like the breasts were so pleasurable, you know, that was, that was something that was really difficult to let go of. You know, I still had to mourn than that too.

And that’s still something that’s like, “That’s unfortunate, to give away that kind of pleasure center,” but your right, breasts are to feed children. I mean, that’s why we have them. So the pleasure part is secondary to that. Um, so there’s a whole emotional component to that. Especially women who want to have children now they’re not able to breastfeed or, you know, for me it was, it was a real sad sadness for me when I was like, Oh, oh. These are what nursed my children. And now look, you know, it’s just, it kinda cuts, cuts deep.

And, um, but yeah, the the the cosmetic surgery, um, part of it, it’s, it’s tricky. It’s really tricky because, again, we’re, so I hate to use the word desperate, but that’s how I felt. I was so desperate to get sort of some sort of semblance of the body that I once had, that I was doing whatever it took, not even considering the damage that it was doing or, you know, the longterm effects, and what I dealt with along the way, because of the pressure.

And there are times where I have; I have one I’m missing one breast. So I do put like a little prosthetic when I go out of the house, but sometimes I leave the house. And I’m like, “Oh, damn, I forgot my boob.” Like, you know, it’s just one of those things where it’s kind of like a nuisance.

I don’t have to go out with the prosthetic, but sometimes they think this is a silly thing to think, but I think “I don’t want it to make anybody else feel uncomfortable.” You know what I mean? Because, and it’s silly, but it’s like, you know, I don’t even want it to be like, Oh, there’s something off there.

They’re not even looking though, you know, half the time, more than the majority of the time. People probably aren’t even looking to see that you’re, you know, lopsided or whatever. It’s just you, but it’s just funny. You’ve got to find the humor. And I do sometimes it’s like, Oh, such a nuisance to have to put this prosthetic in and I just leave the house and it’s, you know, get into the car and like, Oh, dang it. I gotta run back upstairs.

Tammey Grable-Woodford: Oh, my gosh. I love what you said, though, about connecting, like for you the the emotional, and I’m going to bring us back to mental health with this. This is sort of my goal. Um, how, in addition to, well, I’m going to back up a little bit. For starters. Yes. Breasts are, you know, designed as, as a means for nourishment.

I think a lot of times, I personally do not have children, but, most of my friends do. And the attachment that is there with the bonding that happens for those who have breastfed to lose that element is a, a deep loss in, um, that’s compounded is probably a better way because it’s a deep loss for all of us, but it is compounded or has a, a deeper element in that regard.

As far as sexuality, I always joke and say, well, “Shhh... because women aren’t supposed to like it.” Right? So breasts, when it comes to sex, have really been defined by men. Or at least what’s been shared with us in the United States around breasts is defined by what men consider to be sexy and sexual and sensual. And frankly, there is a lot less conversation about how that is a pretty important erogenous zone and that women. Yeah, we actually, that there’s a reason there’s still humans here. So

Cat Phillips: Yes. Yes, absolutely. Yeah, yeah.

Redefine a narrative.

Tammey Grable-Woodford: ...we participate in. Um, and so, and even finding language around that, right. Like owning that and bringing that back.

So. But I think that’s a big part of the mental health gap, right? Because none of this is discussed. I did not. You can look back and say hindsight 20/20; how could you not know that with that kind of damage, you weren’t going to have sensation there? But, I didn’t, I’d never had a major surgery. I had no idea that I was going to wake up with staples in my chest with wadded up tissue and absolutely no sensation that I wouldn’t feel the staples come out that and that it would be years before I would start to get some of that sensation back. And then when I did, you know, it’s hard to explain to somebody like when you’re doing this, and you’re like, is that my finger feeling that? Or is that my skin

Cat Phillips: Yeah, totally. Yeah. It’s odd unless you go through it. You don’t know. And I don’t, um, for me, I had a nipple grafting, so I had half of one, you know, my other breasts, nipple grafted onto the mastectomy side during the reconstruction. So now... I wasn’t told this either. Now that I mean one could deduct, but, um, you know, I was told that no, yeah, that’d be fine, but there’s no longer an erogenous zone either.

So, um, Even though I have one, you know, one of my breasts still, um, it’s not no pleasure there. It’s numb. It’s painful at times, you know, because of that grafting surgery, I mean, these are things to consider. You don’t know.

Tammey Grable-Woodford: And I... and I... will go so far as to say that that is a byproduct of breast being sensual from a male perspective versus being sensual from a female perspective because the attempt is to give you nipples on either side, the loss was to you for the potential gain for the aesthetic, which would...

Cat Phillips: the aesthetic, yeah

Tammey Grable-Woodford: Which would be for someone else. And, um, you know, maybe for you too, if that’s important to you, but you don’t know unless you have all the information for that conversation.

Cat Phillips: Right, right. Yeah. You have to decide, which is more important than, you know, for me, if I would have known, I wouldn’t have, I would have opted not to do that. Yeah.

Tammey Grable-Woodford: Yeah, exactly. And, you know, fortunately, I’m, I’m a research hound, and I had, you know, and again, you know, the doctors that you have Oh my goodness. Right? Like we don’t all have the amazing communicators for doctors. We don’t all get somebody with a good bedside manner or somebody that thinks to communicate that sort of assumed knowledge that they have. And this is like, 10th conversation of the day, but it’s your first conversation ever about it. And even with that, I still had clearly some gaps in the good providers I had.

But fortunately, when I had my consult for reconstruction prior to having my mastectomies, the plastic surgeon did tell me, well, typically if you do, just because we could only see cancer in one and yet I did do both. And I’ll probably talk about that when I talk about ILC.

But part of that decision, there was a lot that went into that decision. One of the things he said to me was, well, typically, because we can’t match your size because I was larger than the largest implant would get me. We still do surgery to the healthy breast.

And so you’re still, he told me you’re still gonna lose nipple sensation. You’re still going. So he went through all of that. And what was interesting is I had my gynecologist saying to me, well, I would think it would be easier to keep the one breast so that you have one natural breast and one natural nipple and one, but the thing is like, it’s it’s carpet-bombed, you know like it’s not like that. It’s not like the one doesn’t have anything. So it is a really interesting process and, and understanding the questions to ask and that, because you’re right like you can look back and say, well, I should have been able to know that, but you don’t. And not only that,

Overwhelmed with good intentions.

Cat Phillips: It is overwhelming.

Tammey Grable-Woodford: Yes, you are literally, I think back to when I was first diagnosed and I tell people, well, yeah, I was so focused on living like my day to day was what decisions do I need to make today that is going to give me the best possible outcome and hopefully ensure that I’m on the tail end of the bell curve that I’m looking at when it comes to my diag.., my, my cancer, my diagnosis, my stage.

And eventually it was, what decision do I need to make this month? And then it was, what decision do I need to make this quarter? But that’s really kind of...

Cat Phillips: So much pressure...

Tammey Grable-Woodford: it is. And it’s so, so fast

Cat Phillips: Because it’s all on us. No matter if the doctor says this, family member say that friends give their advice, ultimately we have to make the decision. It’s so much pressure, and we just have to keep the faith that, you know, we do the best we can. We learn from the decisions and choices that we’ve made.

We move forward the best way we can.

Tammey Grable-Woodford: Yeah, definitely. So you are such a huge advocate for that mental health side and talk to us because I lo... I love that personally, talk to us about... is that, that you’re re reconnecting to the soul. And is that really kind of, I mean, obviously redefining sexy as well, but your tools for reconnecting to the soul and your tools for mental health.

Based on the lessons you’ve learned, like what kind of tips and guidance would you give to someone who is going through this? And I’m going to say whether you were just diagnosed, or you are 10, 20 years out and still struggling with an element of this because there will still be elements that are there.

“I am more than a physical being.”

Cat Phillips: Right. So for me, um, it’s no matter what your faith or belief system is. For me. It was about discovering that I am more than this physical body. Maybe not everybody connects with that, but that’s ok. That was pivotal for me. And I hadn’t really thought about it to the extent that I did once all of this kind of went down.

So for me, I think that that was, that was key is finally having that aha moment to say, “Yeah, I, I am not this physical body, this physical body, you know, I’m a soul with a body, not a body with a soul.” Like that to me was really important to, to, um, acknowledged that. That right, there was a shift mentally.

For... to get to wrap my head around. Ok. Don’t get too attached to this physical body. Treat it well. Treat it with kindness. It’s what you’ve got here. It’s what’s going to get you from A to B. It’s going to be what helps you enjoy your family? The the pleasures in life, but the bigger picture is that it’s not what defines me and, you know, anymore, like I had to let go of that.

I had to... no attachment to this physical self-other than I want it to be healthy. And I’m a real advocate of holistic and integrative healing. And I’ve been through conventional and completely alternative therapies over the last ten years. So, um, you know, I believe meditation, breathwork, um, really are key for, um, mental health.

And for me that that was a game-changer when I started to adopt those practices. And, uh, and then just really catching myself if I’m not speaking kindly to myself, if I’m say if I’m being judgmental and really catching it and say, ok. And I talk to myself in such a loving way now that I never even did before cancer.

So again, it’s one of those blessings in disguise. And so all day, every day. And that’s the other thing about looking in the mirror. Whenever I look in the mirror, I say, I love you. You’re going to have a great day. You got this. You’re amazing. Who are you going to help today? I love you. You are worthy of love.

You are worthy of happiness in this life. You’re worthy of all the blessings that your heart desires. And that’s really important. And I think it’s great to do it while you’re walking around in the day. But if you can look at yourself in the mirror and have that heart to heart with yourself and mean it and really mean it.

Oh my gosh. It’s a game-changer. I don’t know that people speak to themselves in that way. Like you would your child or your sister, you know, it’s really important. We don’t, we don’t do that really. And again, we’re not, we’re not told that. I have a daughter. Today’s her birthday. She’s 20. Um, so it’s important for us to teach our children self-love and self-respect, because how can you love others and respect others if you don’t first start with yourself.

So that that’s really key with mental health.

Tammey Grable-Woodford: I love that. That is, so that is so powerful and so true. And if anything, we are oftentimes hypercritical of ourselves, right? Because we are comparing ourselves to, uh, whomever, whomever. It is that whatever it is, you know, you look at, you look at how sexy was defined and how fashion has been defined through the ages. Right?

And for women it’s like, no, the ideal body is to cinch yourself in a corset and put a big hoop skirt on so you look like you have a big backside that’s what’s in, or Twiggy that’s what’s in, or so, you know, there’s, there’s a whole... just outside of breast cancer, a whole issue which you touched on earlier, right? With just being self-confident and being, being connected to yourself and really defining for yourself.

We define sexy!

Cat Phillips: Do you know, what’s so empowering is that we get to decide what’s beautiful and sexy. It’s up to us. Nobody can tell us if beauty is in the eye of the beholder, right?

Tammey Grable-Woodford: Yep.

Cat Phillips: That’s exactly it. We get to decide. So today, decide that you are beautiful and sexy decide it! Make that affirmation. That is truth. That is fact.

Tammey Grable-Woodford: It is, and there is nothing, there is nothing more beautiful than a confident person. And, and that does take that beauty out of the lens of fashion, of society, of the view from other people. It really does bring it back to you because it is that competence. And it’s, you know, as I talked to you, it’s interesting because I keep.

In my mind hearing the one part of Maya Angelo’s “Still I Rise” poem that, um, just has stuck with me for forever. And, you know,

Does my sexiness upset you? Does it come as a surprise that I dance like I’ve got diamonds at the meeting of my thighs.

And that poem...

Cat Phillips: Oh, I love it, you are giving me chills.

Tammey Grable-Woodford: Yeah. Oh my gosh. I can’t, I cannot wait to actually read it again now.

And, and that impacted me in my youth. That was one of those poems that impacted me in my youth because as a woman, she was, she was claiming her agency and owning it in that. And it was also coming from such a painful place for her, if you know, the full story and, um, yeah, but being able to define that yourself. Own that yourself.

Walk-in your confidence and, and, uh, control your agencies, it’s paramount.

Cat Phillips: Absolutely. Absolutely. That is my dream for every woman to feel that way. There’s no reason why we can’t or shouldn’t, it’s just, you know, it’s, it’s a process. Unfortunately, it’s not easy. I mean, that’s such a shame, but, um, it’s definitely possible. And, you know, I empower every woman to walk that path.

Reconciliation with beauty.

Tammey Grable-Woodford: I love it. So I know for me, that part of my reclamation process was getting my tattoos and replacing what reminded me of dark times was something that was beautiful and meaningful to me. And that’s just one, and that’s not for everybody, not everybody wants tattoos and

Cat Phillips: it right, right, right, right. Yeah, I know. Yes. Yeah. Labor of love.

Tammey Grable-Woodford: It was. And you know, and that was also an interesting process because I have people ask me all the time, did it hurt? Right? Because I’m two huge pieces.

Cat Phillips: Yeah, that’s true because, um, well, especially if you, if the area is numb, cause I had the same thing and it was, and it didn’t really hurt. Like my other tattoos hurt, and it was kind of an odd feeling. It’s like, ok, this is interesting. Yeah.

Tammey Grable-Woodford: Yeah. I often say it’s like having somebody just hold an Oral B toothbrush to your skin. Cause you feel the vibration until there until there’s a nerve that’s awake and then, and then you’re like, youch!

Cat Phillips: Yeah, yeah

Tammey Grable-Woodford: Exactly. But I have a, I have another piece that I would love to have, and part of me is like, no, cause I know that that is going to hurt.

Cat Phillips: yeah, yeah. After that, and then going back to, you know, the really painful experience. Yeah.

Tammey Grable-Woodford: Definitely. So, but what other, so we’ve talked about. Sort of that, um, that reclamation. So some of the tools you’ve talked about, you’ve talked about, um, the dancing in the mirror and the massage, but you’ve also mentioned breathing and breathwork and, and meditation. So what are some of the goals that you, especially when you’re working with other survivors that you are giving them and, or helping them, um, to achieve?

Cause I’ll tell you meditation was not easy for me. So helping folks to, to get get not,

Cat Phillips: It’s not easy for most people. And I think the idea of meditation people have wrong. It’s not that you’re trying to eliminate all thoughts from your mind because that’s impossible. So, um, I think people put pressure on themselves. Oh, it’s not working. I’m not doing it. Right. And that’s not the point. Right?

The point is to invite in that quiet and that stillness. And if you are, um, and, and to acknowledge that thoughts, but not be attached to them. To realize that the thoughts are not serving you, that’s, that’s what meditation is. And then, you know, to escort them away. And that’s it. And then you do have a mantra that’s, you know, a phrase or a word or a sound.

I usually use something, um, that I need for that day. Like, um, empowerment or, um, faith or whatever word that resonates with me at the moment. That’s going to be my mantra that I’ll focus on. So if thoughts come into my mind, I redirect my focus on the mantra and that really just, I mean, the the effects of that for me, sharper, um, mental clarity, more patience, more just joy and it helps with acceptance and just so many positive things from taking 10, 15 minutes every day to unattach from the stresses that are going through your mind.

You know, so for me, that, that is really important practice. And, and breath as well. So my meditations are around breath too. So sometimes I won’t do a mantra and just focus on the breath.

So if the the monkey mind acts up. I redirect back to the breath, you know, and they’ve proven this, I mean, meditation is no longer the Buddhist on the mountain top. It’s, it’s been proven scientifically that it has a profound effect on a mental and emotional wellbeing. So, um, it’s a tool that, you know, I know it’s difficult, but I think people, they, they get it, they get the idea wrong about it because you can’t quiet the mind, the brain will always be thinking thoughts. It’s how you handle it, what you do with them and to, to really, um, not attach yourself to those thoughts, because they’re just thoughts, they’re going to move through. And then you just bring yourself back to, you know, your state of consciousness and just who you are in that moment.

And all you are is that essence. That soul essence, you know?

Tammey Grable-Woodford: Yeah, I know for me, that was a big challenge because I was expecting at first to be able to shut my brain off and find, I guess I was expecting to find a completely silent dark space to exist in

Cat Phillips: It can happen. It can happen. It’s called the bliss field where it’s almost like you’re in between being awake and asleep, and that’s a really beautiful thing in meditation. So, and you don’t know where you are. You’re kind of like, and that’s something like what you’re, you’ve just described there, but it will happen when it’s meant to happen, and it can happen. Doesn’t happen every time I meditate. But, um, the longer you meditate for, you usually get a little deeper into it, and it can happen. But if you ha ha don’t have a thought-free meditation, you’re doing everything right. You’re doing everything right. So not to worry. Yeah.

Speak kindly to yourself.

Tammey Grable-Woodford: I love that because I think that one of the things and this goes back to something you said earlier about speaking kindly to yourself. One of the things I noticed after I got past my, and I, I will be honest. I had to finally download a meditation app, and that is what helped me breakthrough that part of it. Right? And understand that what my goal should be.

Because at first, it almost felt like an assault on myself from myself. Because here I am sitting here in this quiet and it felt like all of my insecurities were sort of piling on, on all of that self-talk, it was not necessarily positive was piling on.

And then for whatever reason, you know, we hang on to those more than we hang on... Somebody can say something nice. Ten people could say something nice...

Cat Phillips: I know,

Tammey Grable-Woodford: One person says something not nice, and that’s the thing that we’re focused on

Cat Phillips: Oh, I know, yeah.

Tammey Grable-Woodford: For whatever reason. And so in the end, now that I’m a few years out of it, I’m so glad that I did spend time learning to meditate because I got familiar with the unkindness, and it was almost a subconscious unkindness that I was expressing on myself. That meditation gave me the tools to start to correct, to acknowledge, acknowledge it, but not live in it. Not even necessarily accepted, right? Like that’s, that’s not the truth. You might be feeling that in that moment, but you are still beautiful. You are still strong. You’re your body kicked ass to keep you alive.

Give it a little love.

Cat Phillips: Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. And you know, we live in a world of duality, right. So you can’t understand what beauty is unless you know what your definition of ugly is. You can’t understand pain unless you understand pleasure. You can’t. So everything’s opposite. So it’s ok to have those negative thoughts so that you can understand what the opposite of that is. You know, it’s duality.

Tammey Grable-Woodford: Yeah, you’re right. It is, it is critical, critically important. And I think the other big pro for me was also coming out of that, understanding what was coming from me and what was outside influence, what I, where I was competing or comparing with... whether it was competing and comparing with the previous me before I was hit by the mac truck

Cat Phillips: Oh, God. Yes, yes. Yes. I’m guilty. Yes.

Tammey Grable-Woodford: Yeah. You know, that fit person that could do a pull-up and then, you know, I couldn’t lift five gallons of milk doctor’s orders. So having all of that, so I absolutely love it. Ok. So we have talked about some amazing tips we have talked about really? Oh my gosh. I just love the message that you are so much more than your physical body.

We’ve talked about meditation. We have talked about really that connection of massage and getting really getting to know you again and being able to feel confident to take ownership of that element, and we talked about so much more. And I did want to ask you though, as we start to wrap up one of the things on your website, which is sexysoulsearch.com for anybody who’s going to be looking at Cat or her Instagram is beautiful because she’s in the, I say Caribbean and you say Caribbean, is that right?

Cat Phillips: Either way, tomato, tomato. But I think American say Caribbean. Yes.

Turn those heads!

Tammey Grable-Woodford: Yeah. You know, um, so, but anyway, your Instagram, my whole point of that is your Instagram photos are absolutely stunning because you have that sunshine thing and all of that beautiful water. Um, but you talk about, and I wrote it down because I want it. You called yourself in the past, the “queen of vanity.”

Cat Phillips: Yes. Yes. I was the one who wanted to turn heads. I mean, I, you know, the low cut blouses, the short skirts, you know, throughout my younger years, I don’t know. I wouldn’t even say even my thirties, I was guilty of that as well, up until before my, up until my diagnosis. And, um, it mattered. I mean, I would, Oh, that’s the other thing.

So I would never leave the house without makeup. I would never leave the house without being completely put together. So one of the other rituals I adopted is being ok with leaving the house, not put together completely makeup-free, grubby, whatever is the thing that I would have never done. That would have terrified me to no end.

Um, so yes, so those are the some of the things, um, you know, and like I mentioned, not, not wearing my prosthetic. When I was going through chemo, not wearing the wigs or the scarves, um, um, just really putting myself out there. This is me take it or leave it, you know? And, um, I think that that was so important, um, to really shift. What I thought about myself, the way that I looked and really set the foundation for where I am now and that I’m able to, you know, I enjoy getting dressed up and doing my makeup and everything, but again, it’s not what defines me anymore. You can take it or leave it, you know, but it makes me feel good at certain circumstances, but I’m ok with not doing it.

And that’s, that’s the important message.

Tammey Grable-Woodford: Would you say then that comparing sort of, as you just described it, the past, wanting to turn heads, that was more for external and now you’re more about internal. Like what makes me feel good? And yes, it, it, it feels good, right? Like we’re humans. That is...

Cat Phillips: But I have a choice now. Like I didn’t feel like I had a choice then. Like I... would never have done that because I would have felt so awful about myself. So it wasn’t even a question that now I have the choice. I can; I can go out completely natural. I can go out deck... decked out, you know? Um, and it’s my choice, and I’m ok with either.

Tammey Grable-Woodford: I love it.

Cat Phillips: Yeah. Yeah. Well, I was definitely one vain chick. Let me tell you, I always said, I said, now this is a cruel joke because you know, I used to have the girls out, the cleavage, everything, and then to be diagnosed with breast cancer and to have to go through mastectomy and everything. I was like, Really? Like, you know, I mean, come on.

Like that was something that was so who I was at the time, I was completely about this physical body, you know, it’s just one of those really interesting lessons, really interesting lesson. So, um, yeah, because there’s no cleavage anymore and, uh, that, you know, and I’m, I’m good. I’m groovy. It’s like, I, you know, what can I do?

It’s all. It’s all good. I enjoyed it while I had it. It was fun. This is a whole new phase. This is a whole new chapter. So

Tammey Grable-Woodford: I love it. That is such a good message. So, all right. As we wrap up here, And I always, I swear these conversations are always so good. It’s like coffee with a long lost friend or a long lost breastie.

Cat Phillips: Absolutely. I love it.

Lessons of a continuing journey.

Tammey Grable-Woodford: So as we, as we start to wrap up, what would be the, and this is always the hard question. The one thing that you would want to leave people with that you would want to leave our listeners with, um, when it comes to becoming a thriver, finding redefining, sexy, or reconnecting to their soul. What’s the one thing you would want to leave as a takeaway?

Cat Phillips: That is... that is hard. There’s so many, um, I often think about what I would have wanted to hear what I needed, and that’s the thing and why I do what I’m doing, the the message that I’m trying to get out there because I wish I had it at the time because it took me quite a long process to get through, get through it. And now I’ve got the tools and, and kind of like a little program that helps women to get through it. And I wish that I would’ve had that, but my kind of tagline and the thing that I’ve said already many times that I have to tell myself regularly still is that I am so much more than my body and my true sexiness radiates from my soul.

That is, that is that, that phrase right there. When that came to me, it was like; it was that light bulb. It’s so true because who I am, the essence of who I am is sexy as hell. I am a beautiful being... like to my core. I know who I am. I know what I, what I’m capable of. I’m compassionate, and giving, and kind, and all of these things that I know that I am, and that is sexy.

All that I am in my core. My essence is the definition of sexy.

Tammey Grable-Woodford: I love that. That would be an amazing mantra for anyone to meditate on.

Cat Phillips: Exactly.

Tammey Grable-Woodford: That alone. Yes.

Cat Phillips: Absolutely.

Tammey Grable-Woodford: So if folks wanted to reach you other than taking an awesome vacation to a tiny little island, somewhere out in the Caribbean, where can they find you?

Cat Phillips: Yeah. So sexysoulsearch.com like you mentioned, I’m also on Instagram at @sexysoulsearch, and Facebook at sexysoulsearch. Um, so yeah, I had put out content regularly, and it’s really about inspiring you to discover who you are in a deep soul level to discover that you are sexy, empowered, vibrant.

You’re all of those things. That you want to be, you already are. So I’m just happy. Yes. I’m just happy to be of service and to help help women. Um, you know, there’s, there’s so many great people out there doing great work for advocacy and, um, you know, even health, nutrition, that kind of thing. But again, the spiritual, mental, emotional side, I’m having a hard time finding it out there, and I’m looking, you know, so I just really want to open up that conversation and to help women because it.

No matter what your age, no matter where you are in your journey, in this piece of it, it’s going to be with you the entire way. You know, it’s a process.

Tammey Grable-Woodford: It is a process. And thank you so much for sharing your personal story, your tips, your ideas. Oh, my goodness. And, and your tool, your tools for how you have been able to reconnect your soul and redefine sexy for you, and really step out empowered, and self-love and, you know, Self loved, which is so huge that you’re able to express that to yourself for all of us, for that is just such an amazing goal, and that’s cancer or not being able to be confident and loved and who you are as you are accepting your flaws and your faults. And which sometimes those I will say are also some of your biggest advantages. So. And assets. So yeah, absolutely.

Cat Phillips: I agree.

Tammey Grable-Woodford: Cat, thank you so much. And again, this is Cat Phillips. Who’s joined us today from Sexy Soul Search, and she is absolutely amazing, so many great tips and ideas and conversation today. If you want to add to the conversation and you’re seeing this anywhere on any of the socials or even on the blog, leave us a comment.

We always love to hear from you. And you can find us in all of the usual pod playing places. So whether it’s Apple or Google or Spotify, or all of those things, or even out on YouTube and of course at yourkillerlife.com, don’t forget to subscribe and like, and that way, you get a notification. And thank you so much for joining us again for another episode and Cat, thank you again for being here and until next time.

Oh, you bet. And until next time, keep building Your Killer Life.

Remember the conversations you hear on the show are based on unique experiences and varying diagnosis. And we all had our own medical teams. We are not giving medical advice. So if you hear something inspiring, please talk with your providers.  

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